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My sentiments were much like yours - there really is no doubt, that in most cases, black women are looking out after having at least given the neighborhood a shot. Now, I think that long-term relationships are really, really hard, and should not be subject to ideology. JG: It's funny how quickly things turn - a generation ago in the Jewish community, especially in New York, it was just assumed that you'd marry in, and people who didn't do so were looked at as outliers - not Malcolm Gladwell outliers, outliers like "Why'd you do that? I remember meeting a couple of kids in school who were the products of intermarriages, and, particularly in my ethnically-charged New York environment, they seemed to be sort of homeless.
It just seems like, in my experience, relationships rise and fall over dumb practical shit. Not disappearing, I think, in the manner that Jews worry. The thing is the higher you go up - at least in New York - for whatever reason shit gets more integrated. C., there are worlds filled with high-level people and all of them are black, and interracial marriage is rare. But now it's rude, in many circles, to even advocate for in-marriage.
Jewish men who go outside, I think - and this is not everyone, obviously - are looking beyond the tribe not because they really think they're going to end up marrying their mothers if they find a Jewish woman, but because they're scared of Jewish women, especially the intense sort my friends and I all seemed to marry.
I think that sort of mythology comes out of dealings with a certain sector of liberal, "understanding" whites - as opposed to, say, Bay Ridge whites.
Anyway, it's complicated, and I'm getting the sense you believe, as I do, that blacks and Jews have a lot more in common than lactose intolerance and hard-to-manage hair.
TC: Heh, you just made the textbook black argument against interracial dating.
It's the sense, I guess bluntly put, someone has chosen individualism over community.
But here's something else - your point about being "scared" of Jewish women also rings true.